There Are Some Things I Need to Say by Elliott Voorhees

There Are Some Things I Need to Say
Elliott Voorhees

Say I burn dinner tonight
despite it just being spaghetti.
Say I trip over a pile of nothing on the tile floor.
Say I write a poem about important things
I’m too cowardly to say to your face like

say I pretended to be sick before our first date
because I was afraid you wouldn’t like me.
Say, I lied about having a gift for you
then paid $26.00 to ship your present overnight.

Say I thought I was asexual for several years
.                                         because I’d fooled around before,
 .                                         and after every encounter against
 .                                         school bathroom tile, I stuck around
 .                                         to throw up in the toilet after they left.
But potentially,
you’ve made me not so sure.
Say I’ve never had sex—couldn’t without
being painfully aware of my stomach
contents—and say I think you’re someone
I’d be ok doing that with.
.                                         Because,
                                       you held my hands before
                                       my breasts. Because you
.                                         only asked “Can I stay?”
                                       when I said stop. Because
                                       you held me close after that
                                       and told me to take my time.

Say, would you be down for that?
Hypothetically having sex with a possible virgin?

Say I don’t think I can feel pleasure,
say I’ve tried before and nothing
has ever worked, but say I still want that
say, that I still want, despite all of that.

What would you say
if I asked you to fuck
a 19 year old virgin
who might not even feel it.
Hypothetically speaking.

Say     something.     Say yes, yes
despite the tremor     in my legs     and your hands yes
despite this whole poem yes.
Say silk, soft, supple, sweet
say everything we’re told to for a first time.

Then say surrender. Say the safeword
then push me into the bed.
Give me more credit than I deserve
in this department.
Say yes             yes, yes, yes.

Say, would you be down for that?

Elliott is just a queer city boy, born and raised in a white suburb. They dream of fleeing to the woods and becoming a whispered urban myth.

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